AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO USE HOLD ME TIGHT BY SUSAN JOHNSON IN YOUR LIFE:

Exercise: Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

Objective:

To strengthen the bond and connection between partners by practicing appreciation and expressing admiration, based on the principle of nurturing fondness and admiration from "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman.

Instructions:

1. Sit down with your partner in a quiet and relaxed setting where you can focus on each other without distractions.

2. Begin by discussing the importance of nurturing fondness and admiration in a relationship. Share examples of moments when you felt fondness or admiration for each other, whether big or small.

3. Take turns expressing three specific things you admire and appreciate about your partner. These could be qualities, actions, gestures, or characteristics that you genuinely admire and value.

4. As your partner shares their admiration, practice active listening and genuine appreciation. Reflect back what you heard to show understanding and validation.

5. After both partners have expressed admiration, take a few moments to write down your partner's qualities and actions that you admire in your journal or on paper.

6. Now, brainstorm together one small gesture or action you can take to show appreciation and admiration for each other regularly. It could be a heartfelt compliment, a love note, a small act of kindness, or anything that reflects your admiration.

7. Commit to implementing this gesture or action regularly in your relationship. Set a specific frequency (e.g., daily, weekly) and hold each other accountable for practicing admiration and appreciation consistently.

8. Take a moment to reflect on how expressing admiration and appreciation impacts your relationship. Notice any positive changes in your connection, communication, or overall satisfaction.

9. Conclude the exercise by expressing gratitude to each other for sharing admiration and commitment to nurturing fondness and admiration in your relationship.

10. Set a reminder to revisit this exercise periodically to reaffirm admiration, discover new qualities to appreciate, and continue strengthening your bond through expressions of fondness and admiration.

If you don't feel relief, OR want to go more in-depth OR struggle with applying this exercise, reach out to me at admin@blackstonecounselingnc.com. I can assist you in developing these areas in your relationship.